The vision of the state he was in....the people around him

It's too much for me to handle and yet I was in that room.
Despite being an outsider, I was hoping for a miracle to happen.
Expecting him to beat the odds.
Even if numbers says it's okay, reality says it's not.
This fight was his last.

The moment his significant other sat at the corner of the bed, I couldn't hold my tears. Movies frequently shows this part but the thing is; in reality, it's worser than you think.

And it aches deep down my heart....
For I never really got to know much in depth about him.
He was a lawyer. Survived through the Jap Occupation by eating sweet tapioca instead of rice. Same age as the MM. A quiet man.
He loved grandma so much that he wanted to die too ever since she returned to the earth....
He left us after he took air hadas for Friday prayers.
It was shocking upon hearing the news. I didnt cried or even cursing....i was just quiet which I mistook myself for being emotionless......

When my grandma died, I was very young. I dont know why everyone was crying. I could still read my comic book...yes, it was dumb of me.
Maybe I am poor in reacting to these kind of events....

When my uncle died, I carried his body from the mortuary into the coffin and to the mosque.....I didn't kiss his forehead because I didnt know if I should...

Even so, the fact that he has no more chances and the clock was ticking to his last breath was really a fucked up thing. Somehow, I'm glad HE took his life before the clock strikes zero. I'm sure any of his siblings, children and grandchildren won't dare to pull the plug on their loved ones.....

One of my friends had to do it and I don't know how fucked he must felt....